Back To The Cross

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Bad news from the doctor is devastating! The news can worsen symptoms or exacerbate an illness simply due to anxiety. People have known to burst into tears, yell in anger, scream in fear, or display no emotion. Once they have gained the opportunity to process the news,  they may start trying to understand the prognosis. In desperation, they will search for answers among health professionals and look for support from family, friends, or faith leaders.

All of these reactions and processes are normal. The variety of feelings are common even shock and denial. In other words no reaction is wrong and most people do exactly what they should.

At least that’s what my professional self believes. I often times find myself explaining this to stressed caregivers of families receiving hospice care. Sometimes I use this as a way to fill the void even though I teach hospice volunteers to do the complete opposite.  Don’t ever feel the need to fill a void of silence. “It’s needed and healthy” “It’s okay to be silent!”

Ha! There are times on my job where my faith, personal, and professional life intersects. Today was that day.

Today, was the follow up to a series of appointments regarding my asthma. Lately, it has gotten worse. I was
hoping to hear a good report. I wanted to hear the meds are working or no signs of symptoms. But that was not the report. In fact the doctor felt the need to refer to a lung and heart specialist. First off I’m 30. This was not the news I wanted to hear. And inspite of an amazing word at my church about being brave referring to the warrior Deborah I found myself confused, alone, scared and definitely not brave.

I left that appointment longing to be comforted. So I reached out to my professional and personal circles. I wrote a simple but vague post on Facebook. Yes, the contacts were there but I wanted to be comforted. I wanted to be held and reminded that everything was okay.

So I came home and begun to worship. Early this morning I asked God to quiet the noise because I wanted to hear Him. He did, just not in the way I expected. God moments don’t occur in the way we are expecting. In fact I had to position myself in a place of worship to hear Him. I DECIDED to love on God. It’s interesting because on the drive home I stated out loud, “God this is hard!”Afterwards I spoke to 2 good friends. Yet, once I placed myself in a position of worship, through songs of adoration, I begun to  worship at His feet. Once I accepted that my very difficult problems were smaller than my God, something happened. At that moment HillSong Lead Me to the Cross played on pandora. I heard God’s voice. Instantly I knew that everything was going to turn out okay. Now I don’t know what that will look like but He led me back to the Cross. He reminded of a specific passage of scripture.

In Isaiah 53:5 NIV it says “but He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our inequities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed. Maybe that’s you, your patients, your friends, or family. Maybe you’ve forgotten that at the Cross we were changed. At the Cross we were forgiven, set free, and made whole. We were redeemed. Today I pray that the voices are quiet around you. I pray that instead of filling the void of silence you welcome God’s voice and encounter a God Moment. A moment where you too are led back to the Cross.

Now, as for the intersection of my professional life and my faith, I still believe you shouldn’t fill the void. But in the event that I do~just like this blog~ I’m a work in progress. Thanks for reading by the way.

But now for those who know Christ I’ll remind them that we~Believers can have Peace because of the Cross. If those who don’t know Christ ask how come I’m no longer stress I’ll tell them it’s because of Jesus’s death, burial, and resurrection.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have Peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I (Jesus) have overcome the world(Calvary).” ~John 16:33 niv

4 thoughts on “Back To The Cross

  1. Find your rest in Him alone. And He is faithful He will not leave you neither forsake you. Thats His promise. The best place to find comfort is indeed in the arms of God..Wishing to hear more powerful experience in your life.Keep the faith.Thanks for your words.

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